转自酷八兔英语笑话http://joke.k8tu.com/ Here抯 a little clarification of corporate lingo.

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:

We have no time to train you+-

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don抰 pay enough to expect that you抣l dress up-well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:

You抣l be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:

We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED:

Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON:

If you抮e old, fat or ugly you抣l be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:

We抳e filled the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You抣l need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You抮e walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:

You抣l have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you, figure out what they want and do.

I扢 EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I抳e used Microsoft Office.

I扢 HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.

MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:

I hope you don抰 ask me about all the McJobs I抳e had.

I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:

I blame others for my mistakes.

I扢 PERSONABLE:

I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co- workers.

I扢 EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:

I carry a Day-Timer.

I AM ADAPTABLE:

I抳e changed jobs a lot.

I AM ON THE GO:

I抦 never at my desk.

转自酷八兔英语笑话http://joke.k8tu.com/